I have found what I will leave to the world, and what hopefully will let me leave the world. Ground testing has begun its process, yet a long road awaits. "Somewhere along the way, my sadness turned to hopefulness."

-J Gibert

AB

i do feel like i have something to leave to the world, be it literary, scientific. perhaps its arrogance, or naivete, maybe even the truth; i don't know. either way, Ambient Breakfast, every day. Ha!

-Jas

the one real thing that i've learned throughout my early adult life:

good+lucky=great

its based on a -15 to +15 point scale, and here's how it breaks down

15 = great
10 = lucky
5 = good
0 = average
-5 = bad
-10= unlucky
-15= suicidal

now, this point scale can be applied to any situation with +/- 10% accuracy
for example, if one is to think about the great minds of the past 3000 years, how many of them were born great? Close to the number of people who have walked on the moon: probably around 12, but possibly 0.
the number of people who were doing well for themselves already and happened to get lucky? Far, far greater.

I personally place myself somewhere between suicidal and great, it's difficult to evaluate myself objectively before I'm on my death bed. everyone hopes, thinks, even believes for fact that they are special, that God or Jesus or some sort of extraterrestrial being ordained them to become the 8th wonder of the world, but it just is not going to happen. We as average individuals must strive to be good and hope that luck falls in our favor.
Be well.

Oh, and I almost forgot the wildcard:

Boldness = +/-5 +/- Lucky, respectively.

why is american society to intent on making children stay children as long as fucking possible?
can't work till 16 can't smoke till 18 can't drink till 21 cant rent a car till 25 cant book a hotel till 25: its disgusting, and not because today's 15 yr olds are capable of juggling work, nicotine, alcoholism and travel-- neither can our 30 year olds, nor 40. its that the expectations and accountability of the "youth" have diminished to the point of nonexistence, asymptotically at least, while the age of "youth" has skyrocketed.
a friend told me the details of his mentoring doctor's method for success: google it. every time a baffling case walks in the door-- my apologies, any time a case walks in the door-- he types their symptoms into webMD, then treats the leading search result accordingly. He's no doctor, just a child of the information age, the age of Democracy, capital D, where every problem is going to be solved through technology. It makes me sick that he can't find the time to read up on his literature PRIOR to a patient's visit because he's too busy blowing his paycheck on sports cars and timeshare properties to do his own fucking job. Now, to be fair, i never went to medical school, never held a person's life in my own hands. I truly do not know what it means to be him, BUT, if one of my devices fails, who do they call? Mr. Jas himself, without hesitation.

Despite evidence to the contrary, I have high expectations for myself, as I'm sure most everyone does. The difference, I feel, is that most people get distracted by what they love to do-- drinking, shopping, etc.-- while I hate my distractions. I actively try to sabotage my own charmed life, to stir up controversy, maybe, to create an environment where self-pity has a place. I have no idea. But this path of self destruction does not suit my ambitions. How, then, do I alter this mindset? Please let me know, as I have only until January 28 to change the world, and at present I can barely get started. More to come;

Jas Gibert